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His name was Jesse, he was an all state athlete, but he was wild. He was a combination of Antonio Brown and Kanye West

He reminded me of an outside cat because he

I'm pretty good at the Tokyo drift, obviously. I've been working on my Texas drift. That's where I get distracted by my phone,

fentanyl, any Chinese people in this crowd, if there is as a Japanese person, sorry for everything. I think Japan did terrible things to China back in World War II. So I think, in my opinion, as a Japanese person, I think Japan deserved the first bomb. But second one, it's too much. So I never understood the second one, never did. Until just recently I figured out I was using a microwave. I put my food out and my food wasn't piping hot enough. I was like, "Vion is hot pocket, not surrender link." So I

I cheated on her like she was a math test

I moved to Texas about two years ago, and before I moved here, I was living with my grandma, and I like to live with my grandma grandma a whole lot, but I had to move out. I had to move out. Because me and grandma, we would fight. Me and grandma, we would tussle. Like she was a baker. She liked to bake cookies and cake and brownies and everything that was good. And I liked it a whole lot. And I would eat it up too fast. And she would tell me how it pissed her off. And she would say, stop doing that. It pisses me off. And I tried. I tried to control myself, but I didn't have any self-control. And she knew that. She knew I didn't have self-control, but she still made the sweets.

My check engine light's been on for a few months, and I feel like the check engine light has very feminine energy, you know? It's like something's wrong. What's wrong?

I ain't racist to nobody. I don't want to-- But there is one motherfucker I do hate, okay? One motherfucker I can't stand. And that is a motherfucker with the audacity to ask me if I want to help them move furniture from one apartment complex to the other, okay? Listen, dude, the goddamn blatant disrespect you got to ask me to help you move with California King, down two flights of stairs. Yeah, man, as soon as we get there,

We recently had period sex, which is funny, 'cause she's a white girl. You know, she looked like a Japanese flag

I heard a Spaniard guy speak Spanish in Texas and that shit didn't sit right with me, man.

Man, I've been working on standing up for myself because I went to performing arts school. I drive a fucking Fiat, and I was recently told that I look like

You know, like I already take a shit and I eat a parfait. I might as well have a meat and cheese spread while I bathe. I'd have to make it more manly though, right?

I deliver pizzas. I think you should always tip the man who delivers your pizza. I also think you should tip the man who delivers your baby. I didn't tip my doctor,

If you ain't never been dropped off in a Walmart parking lot on Christmas Eve, in the back, right? Like a hostage, negotious situation, where your mama got a flick the light at your daddy's car 'cause they don't wanna see each other in person just to go to your second Christmas,

-Like, bro, that sounds like the British battle rap

I'm used to that Mexican Spanish in Texas.

- My girlfriend just broke up with me. I miss her like I miss my hymen. It hurts at first, but I'm glad

Canada and America, super similar. I kind of feel like you guys had the same parents, Kept telling him affirmations.