Set 9 · Episode 661
Morgan Bounds
Bucket PullWomanLarge Joke Book
Career avg·4.00 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.63 punch density·0.71 tag density·1 set
This set·4 bits·5 beats·0.63 punch density·0.71 tag density·Large Joke Book
Watch Morgan Bounds’s set
Skips to 1:34:15 in the episode
[Bit 1]
- I have a problem.
I wanna get married real bad,
but the guys I like would kill me with a gun,
given the chance.
[Bit 2]
I like blue collar men, like hands so dirty,
you think you're gonna get some kind of weird infection.
But unfortunately for me,
I look like a lesbian crystal witch,
whose primary spell is like some in chlamydia.
[Bit 3]
They think I'm crazy on first glance alone,
and I think it's fucked up.
I'm like, if you would just get to know me
for 10 more seconds, you would finally realize,
I've got a great fucking rack.
I'm multifaceted, I really am.
[Bit 4]
But I am seeing a guy, and what I'm doing
is every time we hook up,
I make him a bomb-ass breakfast in the morning,
like really southern good breakfast,
and the goal is I pavlov him,
and when he sees an omelet with his eyeballs,
'cause dick gets hard.
I think that could be cool, no.
No, like he drives by a Denny's and he's like,
fuck, I gotta call this bitch, dude.
I fucked it up, I did, I fucked it up,
'cause the other day he got arrested in a McDonald's
jerking off on a McGriddle,
giving it the old Mac sauce.
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Marriage desire implies romantic partner but reveals lethal suitor.”
Joke Type
misdirectLines
setup- I have a problem.
setupI wanna get married real bad,
punchlinebut the guys I like would kill me with a gun,
punchlinegiven the chance.