Jacob Barr

Bucket PullDisabledLarge Joke Book

Career avg·3.00 bits/set·6.00 beats/set·0.38 punch density·0.67 tag density·1 set

This set·3 bits·6 beats·0.38 punch density·0.67 tag density·Large Joke Book

Watch Jacob Barr’s set

Skips to 1:43:10 in the episode

[Bit 1]

No, no, no, I used my dick the first time a girl ever saw it.

Her reaction was, "Oh, thank God."

[Bit 2]

It was my beautiful fiancé.

She's up in Michigan. She's a beautiful woman.

She's a scientist. She's trapped.

She's a beautiful woman.

Whenever she tells everybody she's a scientist,

I'm always like, "And I'm her experiment

"that went horribly wrong!"

[Bit 3]

All right, I was born without an asshole.

Now the hands don't seem like shit anymore.

That's not even that uncommon of a thing

I can guarantee you one of you is born without,

but your parents were just nice enough

not to tell you about it.

The fun thing is I have one now,

and people are always like, "How big was the drill?"

And I'm like, "Huge, I'm gaped as fuck down there."

There's a funny thing,

When you're born without asshole and you got a new one,

your muscles don't work good down there.

So I have to sit when I pee

because the muscle that uses to piss also shits.

So if you're in the bathroom,

you ever see me standing up to pee,

I'm either living on the edge

or you're about to get fucking pranked.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Girl seeing disabled man's genitals implies disgust, but reveals relief saying "Oh, thank God."”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupNo, no, no, I used my dick the first time a girl ever saw it.

punchlineHer reaction was, "Oh, thank God."