Matthew Swider

Bucket Pull

Career avg·3.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.45 punch density·0.67 tag density·1 set

This set·3 bits·3 beats·0.45 punch density·0.67 tag density

Watch Matthew Swider’s set

Skips to 1:00:08 in the episode

[Bit 1]

a little controversial.

I'm down with the LGBTQ community.

I got love for everybody, but I can't handle it

when people take their kids to a Pride 5K.

It's bad enough you got kids promoting anal

and all that stuff, but I can't condone running with scissors.

[Bit 2]

Does anybody in here speak sign language?

Anyone? No? Do you guys know sign language is the most offensive language there is?

So this is the sign for white. Yeah, so all the whites are retards.

Alright. This is the sign for black. Like you see that guy over there? That guy. Over there.

That one. Keep an eye on that guy over there. This is the sign for Asian.

[Bit 3]

This is a sign for, I swear to God, all this is true, right?

This is a sign for Asian.

Anybody know what this is?

No, it's a sign for Matthew Swider.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“"Running with scissors" can mean dangerous child behavior or lesbian participation in a race.”

Joke Type

double-meaning

Lines

setupa little controversial.

setupI'm down with the LGBTQ community.

setupI got love for everybody, but I can't handle it

setupwhen people take their kids to a Pride 5K.

setupIt's bad enough you got kids promoting anal

punchlineand all that stuff, but I can't condone running with scissors.