2026-04-14

Set 4 · Episode 764

Ethan Griggs

Bucket PullMedium Joke Book

Career avg·3.00 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.42 punch density·0.67 tag density·1 set

This set·3 bits·5 beats·0.42 punch density·0.67 tag density·Medium Joke Book

Watch Ethan Griggs’s set

Skips to 29:28 in the episode

[Bit 1]

The end of the day,

I'm just a hick ass farmer from Cattle Mills, Texas.

And the thing about it is,

if you know anything about farmers,

the only reason they have kids is to like,

carry on the farm and the cheap farm labor.

Well, I was an only child and a fuck up at that.

So when my dad died, that's why the farm failed.

Now I'm out here doing comedy, fucking that up too.

[Bit 2]

It's crazy though, we were so broke

that when my dad died, all I inherited

was a porn collection.

And here's the thing, I used to buy my dad porn.

So I've already seen a third of this collection

and I don't have enough bodily fluids

for the other two thirds of this collection.

I'll be damned if I'm going to rehab

for masturbation addiction.

That's like getting cancer from vaping.

That's just fucking embarrassing.

Can't even raise my hand because it's busy.

[Bit 3]

But I'll tell you what, I don't think I'll make it

in stand-up comedy, though.

Man, I had a very untromatic childhood.

I didn't get molested because I wasn't

in the church or the scouts.

And the only relative that might have molested me

was too busy fucking goats to give me the time of day.

I can't compete with sheep's pussy, nor would I want to.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Having one bad farm heir could be guaranteed farm failure.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupThe end of the day,

setupI'm just a hick ass farmer from Cattle Mills, Texas.

setupAnd the thing about it is,

setupif you know anything about farmers,

setupthe only reason they have kids is to like,

setupcarry on the farm and the cheap farm labor.

setupWell, I was an only child and a fuck up at that.

punchlineSo when my dad died, that's why the farm failed.

tagNow I'm out here doing comedy, fucking that up too.