2026-04-14

Set 7 · Episode 764

T. Austin

Bucket Pull

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.55 punch density·1.40 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·5 beats·0.55 punch density·1.40 tag density

Watch T. Austin’s set

Skips to 1:02:14 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Now, I came out here.

I'm a little angry, but I'm not angry with y'all.

I don't like the motherfuckers that's outside, so I came up

with a few ways to destroy the world, and I only got a

minute to do so.

The first one would be for you religious motherfuckers.

I want whoever you believe in, Jesus, Muhammad, whoever.

I hope you come so that way the rest of us

can be out here screaming like, holy shit.

You can't say that shit because God is here.

The second way, you already got Donald Trump in there

doing this thing, working on Israel.

We working on them bombs.

That would be funny, but fuck that.

We're living that one.

Now, the third way, fucking Thriller.

I want my goddamn zombies.

I've been watching The Walking Dead,

I've been practicing my motherfucker shit.

Michael getting ready to come out.

I'm going to see that shit.

I want to live it.

The fourth way that I,

because it could be anything,

you guys, I could drop a bomb of peanuts in here

and drop half of you motherfuckers.

The fourth way that I believe that we deserve it,

'cause Donald Trump said it's true,

he's goddamn aliens.

We're already here.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“God arriving at the apocalypse could be the end of casual profanity.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupNow, I came out here.

setupI'm a little angry, but I'm not angry with y'all.

setupI don't like the motherfuckers that's outside, so I came up

setupwith a few ways to destroy the world, and I only got a

setupminute to do so.

setupThe first one would be for you religious motherfuckers.

setupI want whoever you believe in, Jesus, Muhammad, whoever.

setupI hope you come so that way the rest of us

setupcan be out here screaming like, holy shit.

punchlineYou can't say that shit because God is here.