2025-05-27

Set 12 · Episode 720

Ari Matty

Bucket PullWhiteMan

Career avg·2.50 bits/set·4.20 beats/set·0.66 punch density·1.41 tag density·10 sets

This set·2 bits·3 beats·0.22 punch density·1.33 tag density

Watch Ari Matty’s set

Skips to 2:05:26 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I have one fat fuck friend.

His name is Matt Fat Fuck.

And one day we were talking and I noticed that me and Matt, you know, we have to use

the same toilet bowl.

And I noticed that the distance from Matt's cock to his asshole is quite a journey.

So I asked Matt, "What do you do?

Do you just fucking shove it in there?"

Fat fuck Matt goes, "No, I gotta choose."

So I asked Matt, "Okay, so if you go boopy,

if you go boopy, does it sometimes happen

that peace flies out too?"

onto the floor and shit.

Matt looks at me, he goes, "Oh yeah, all the time."

That's what I respect about Matt.

That even though he's cleaning up his own piss,

he's like, "Fucking worth it."

[Bit 2]

And then he goes, "You think that's bad?"

Matt goes, "Sometimes I come home and I fucking,

"blah, eat so much shit that I, every hole,

Shit piss and puke.

And he has to sit in the bathtub.

And just fool Coachella.

Just fucking.

Now that should be the McDonald's commercial.

Fuck the hot yoga girl with a burger.

Oh my god, Maccas.

Put my fat fuck friend Matt

in the top of his own shit piece of milk

and let the camera pan out.

And he just looks at the camera,

"Pah-rah-pah-pah-pah!"

Still loving it.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“A fat man's belly becomes so extreme that it forces a toilet choice.”

Joke Type

hyperbole

Lines

setupI have one fat fuck friend.

setupHis name is Matt Fat Fuck.

setupAnd one day we were talking and I noticed that me and Matt, you know, we have to use

setupthe same toilet bowl.

setupAnd I noticed that the distance from Matt's cock to his asshole is quite a journey.

setupSo I asked Matt, "What do you do?

setupDo you just fucking shove it in there?"

punchlineFat fuck Matt goes, "No, I gotta choose."