Ari Matty

Bucket PullWhiteMan

Career avg·2.50 bits/set·4.20 beats/set·0.66 punch density·1.41 tag density·10 sets

This set·1 bit·6 beats·0.88 punch density·1.33 tag density

Watch Ari Matty’s set

Skips to 2:07:14 in the episode

[Bit 1]

A friend of mine got cheated on by his girl, very sad.

And he found out that she cheated the only way men find out that they've been cheated on.

She told them.

Let's be honest, men ain't figuring shit out.

We don't notice when you get a new haircut.

You think I'm gonna notice a sparkle in your eyes?

You think I'm gonna notice an overall glow about you?

Dude, I can't imagine how easy it is to cheat on a guy.

I could come home, the other guy's in the closet.

Smell of sperm is all across the apartment.

I'll still be like, "Baby, what you cookin'?"

Is that full?

You could have the other guys come fall out of your pussy.

I'll be like, "Holy shit, I'm killing it."

I'll tell my friends, "My baby girl come white, dude."

Cheating on a woman, though, different story.

They can tell.

Even if they don't have evidence,

they'll just look at you fucking.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah."

Dude, if you wanna cheat on a woman,

you gotta meet that other bitch in like Guadalajara.

With a fake passport,

you gotta destroy the evidence after.

You gotta fucking, you might have to drown that bitch.

You might have to,

you might have to drown her in the lake.

"Like sorry mamacita."

- Fuck a bitch, what I know?

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Finding out about cheating implies detective work, but reveals a direct confession.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupA friend of mine got cheated on by his girl, very sad.

setupAnd he found out that she cheated the only way men find out that they've been cheated on.

punchlineShe told them.