2024-12-10

Set 5 · Episode 695

Ari Bhatti

Bucket Pull

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.39 punch density·0.50 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·5 beats·0.39 punch density·0.50 tag density

Watch Ari Bhatti’s set

Skips to 57:20 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I'm single.

A little less wuss than I expected.

You know what I miss most about being in a relationship?

Is it the sex? I don't give a fuck about the sex.

I miss the arguing.

God!

I just miss having someone else to blame.

When you're single, it's all my fault.

Every time I fuck up, I just have to be in front of the mirror like,

"You piece of shit."

That's the best when you have a girl, you get to unload.

You have a shit day at work when you're drawing back home,

you know when you're like,

you know when you're like pre-arguing, you're like.

You know when you're like building a case,

you're like playing that mental chess.

Like, oh, you're gonna bring up my sister, huh?

What about the cunt of a mother you have?

You get home, she has that stupid face.

Honey, how is your day?

And you go off.

How the fuck was your day?

She calls you a loser, you call her a bitch.

She gets the knife from the kitchen,

you hold the cat over the balcony.

It's the best!

God, I wish I had a wife!

'Cause when I'm alone -- Dude, when I'm alone at home --

Dude, when you have a wife and you hit your toes,

and you hit your toe you get to be like "PFFT! Who the fuck put this?"

Dude if I hit my toe I just gotta be like "PFFT!"

Me! Thank you very much, thank you so much.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Relationship arguments could be a better replacement than sex.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupI'm single.

setupYou know what I miss most about being in a relationship?

setupIs it the sex? I don't give a fuck about the sex.

punchlineI miss the arguing.

tagGod!

tagI just miss having someone else to blame.