2025-04-01

Set 10 · Episode 713

Onkar Singh

Bucket PullAsianManLarge Joke Book

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.41 punch density·1.25 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.41 punch density·1.25 tag density·Large Joke Book

Watch Onkar Singh’s set

Skips to 1:43:55 in the episode

[Bit 1]

- Hi, yeah, I'm single.

I'm trying to date.

And all of my friends and family, they're in relationships,

and they're always trying to give me advice, you know?

They're like, "Be safe out there, man.

"S.C.D.'s are on the rise.

"Be safe."

Oh my God, it's so scary.

It's like, yeah, S.C.D.'s are scary,

but you know what's scarier than S.C.D.'s dating today

as a man?

Is how expensive dating actually is, dude.

I went on a date with a woman a couple of weeks ago,

and honestly, I much rather would have caught crabs

from her in the bedroom,

didn't have to pay for crabs at the dinner table.

All of my friends are like, "Oh, my God, HIV is so scary.

HIV -- You know what's scarier than HIV?

MKT market price.

We don't even know...

how much this shit costs.

I didn't know there was a market for it.

I'm on Robin Hood trying to short the stock.

[Bit 2]

But I did bring that girl home afterwards,

and she was a little heavy-sad, she was a little big,

she was fat, and we get back to my place we're making out.

She takes my pants off and she sees my uncut gem,

and she goes, "Ew, you have extra skin."

And I was like, "You have extra skin, you big bitch.

What the hell?"

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Modern dating could be scarier than STDs because of the bill.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setup- Hi, yeah, I'm single.

setupI'm trying to date.

setupAnd all of my friends and family, they're in relationships,

setupand they're always trying to give me advice, you know?

setupThey're like, "Be safe out there, man.

setup"S.C.D.'s are on the rise.

setup"Be safe."

setupOh my God, it's so scary.

setupIt's like, yeah, S.C.D.'s are scary,

setupbut you know what's scarier than S.C.D.'s dating today

setupas a man?

punchlineIs how expensive dating actually is, dude.