Set 5 · Episode 710

Udemy Sharma

Bucket PullManAsianSmall Joke Book

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.30 punch density·1.00 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.30 punch density·1.00 tag density·Small Joke Book

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Skips to 39:29 in the episode

[Bit 1]

See, I was drunk in Vegas one time,

and what I didn't know about Vegas

is that you can't hail a cab anywhere on the strip.

It has to be like a hotel

or one of these designated locations.

I didn't know that.

So I'm trying to hail a cab,

and I'm thinking they're not stopping,

'cause they're like, "Oh, we don't want this

drunk idiot in our car.

But finally I was able to kind of hail one,

and for whatever reason my drunken mind was like,

"Hey, go speak Spanish to this guy,

'cause it'll be more amicable in giving you a ride."

So I got to his car and I was like,

"Signor, ote Luxor y casito por favor."

And without missing a beat, he's like,

"RÃ¡pido cabron."

I got in the car, we looked at each other,

and realized we're both Indian.

Yeah, he's like, "Where do we go from here?"

And I was like, "Luxor."

Luxor still, "Por favor."

[Bit 2]

I'm trying to enjoy the little things in life.

Like little titties.

Man, I wish I had little titties.

You ever go to give a woman a hug,

and you and her both realize at the same time

you have bigger assists than her?

Embarrassing for everybody. Thank you.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Spanish negotiation implies Latino identity, but reveals two Indians role-playing.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupSee, I was drunk in Vegas one time,

setupand what I didn't know about Vegas

setupis that you can't hail a cab anywhere on the strip.

setupIt has to be like a hotel

setupor one of these designated locations.

setupI didn't know that.

setupSo I'm trying to hail a cab,

setupand I'm thinking they're not stopping,

setup'cause they're like, "Oh, we don't want this

setupdrunk idiot in our car.

setupBut finally I was able to kind of hail one,

setupand for whatever reason my drunken mind was like,

setup"Hey, go speak Spanish to this guy,

setup'cause it'll be more amicable in giving you a ride."

setupSo I got to his car and I was like,

setup"Signor, ote Luxor y casito por favor."

setupAnd without missing a beat, he's like,

setup"RÃ¡pido cabron."

setupI got in the car, we looked at each other,

punchlineand realized we're both Indian.

tagYeah, he's like, "Where do we go from here?"

tagAnd I was like, "Luxor."

tagLuxor still, "Por favor."