2025-06-10

Set 6 · Episode 722

Matt Surry

Bucket Pull

Career avg·3.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.53 punch density·2.00 tag density·1 set

This set·3 bits·3 beats·0.53 punch density·2.00 tag density

Watch Matt Surry’s set

Skips to 55:05 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Now, obviously, you can tell I'm into extreme sports.

Actually, it's so true.

I tried to go skydiving for my birthday the other year.

Now, I say "tried,"

'Cause when I got to the airfield,

the lady took one look at me and was like...

"Yeah, no, sorry.

Apparently, I'm too fat to fall from the sky."

Something about the reserve chute not supporting my mass.

I'm like, "I've seen him drop tanks into Ukraine, all right?"

[Bit 2]

It's crazy, man. I mean, I'd hit the gym,

but, you know, I got a hernia.

And it's not even a real man's hernia.

It's it's an umbilical hernia, which basically means I'm so fat my stomach has nowhere else to go

It's trying to come out my belly button

[Bit 3]

The other day at work my boss said an ID I had was worth its weight in gold

And that got me thinking

What would I be worth if I were worth my weight in gold?

So I figured it out. I'd be worth fifteen million four hundred ninety two thousand six hundred and seventy five dollars

That's right, I'm a cash cow.

Now I just gotta decide,

do I wanna sacrifice half of that just to go skydiving?

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“"I tried skydiving" implies a courage failure, but reveals a weight-limit rejection.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupNow, obviously, you can tell I'm into extreme sports.

setupActually, it's so true.

setupI tried to go skydiving for my birthday the other year.

setupNow, I say "tried,"

setup'Cause when I got to the airfield,

setupthe lady took one look at me and was like...

setup"Yeah, no, sorry.

punchlineApparently, I'm too fat to fall from the sky."

tagSomething about the reserve chute not supporting my mass.

tagI'm like, "I've seen him drop tanks into Ukraine, all right?"