2025-06-10

Set 5 · Episode 722

Michael Ridley

Bucket PullAsianManSmall Joke Book

Career avg·2.67 bits/set·4.67 beats/set·0.72 punch density·1.70 tag density·3 sets

This set·4 bits·7 beats·0.57 punch density·1.43 tag density

Watch Michael Ridley’s set

Skips to 45:58 in the episode

[Bit 1]

-Hi. Hello.

I'm just kidding. I'm not that Asian.

That'd be crazy. [ Laughs ]

I would kill myself if I was that Asian.

I'm just kidding. I wouldn't kill myself.

I would cure my hair!

[Bit 2]

You ever retarded family members?

Anybody else?

Yeah, you're it, buddy.

[Bit 3]

Yeah, dude, I got a super autistic brother,

and it's pretty rough, because, like,

I just remember as a kid,

we used to take him to these interviews

to get him evaluated.

And the thing about my brother is, like,

he's too retarded to keep a job,

but he's not retarded enough to get social security benefits.

So he's in this gray area of retardation,

learning disabled autism.

Dude, we would take my brother to these fucking

mental evaluation interviews as a kid,

and he's so autistic that he'd be like,

"Now's my time to show these people how smart I am."

It would be like this reverse WB frog situation.

- We'd bring him into these interviews

and he'd suddenly become affluent as fuck.

We'd walk in and be like,

yes, the triangle goes in the triangle hole

and the square goes in the square hole.

That's red, that's green and that's blue.

And then we'd get back in the car and he just.

[Bit 4]

We'd bring him into these interviews.

Can I finish it? Thank you, Joe.

-I'm just asking for permission.

-Wow. Are you the retarded family member?

-Yeah. -Holy shit.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“An Asian greeting implies cultural identity, but reveals denial of looking too Asian.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setup-Hi. Hello.

punchlineI'm just kidding. I'm not that Asian.

tagThat'd be crazy. [ Laughs ]

tagI would kill myself if I was that Asian.