Solomon Kraft

Bucket PullLarge Joke Book

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.20 punch density·0.00 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·4 beats·0.20 punch density·0.00 tag density·Large Joke Book

Watch Solomon Kraft’s set

Skips to 37:07 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I've been clean for two months now

Thanks by clean. I mean I'm not using fluoride toothpaste

Yeah, I used to be a real degenerate.

This one time, I was driving drunk across a bridge,

and I thought it'd be funny.

They hit every single construction zone cone

with my car.

The next day, I woke up in a panic.

I was like, "Fuck!"

Then I thought, "It wasn't the booze that caused this reckless behavior.

It's because I brushed my teeth with Crest this morning."

Another time, I was in Columbia on a three-day Coke bender,

and these ladies wanted more money.

I refused, so they beat the shit out of me.

The cops got involved. It wasn't very good.

very good. And it wasn't because I had

grippling addiction problems, it's because

I brushed my teeth with crests that

morning. That's why every time I'm having

sex with the girl and she looks up at me

and stops and says, "Did you just come

inside me?" I'm like, "Oh shit, babe, sorry.

I brushed my teeth with fluoride this

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Clean for two months implies sobriety, but reveals fluoride abstinence.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI've been clean for two months now

punchlineThanks by clean. I mean I'm not using fluoride toothpaste