2024-07-02

Set 11 · Episode 670

Quentin Jones

Bucket PullBlackMan

Career avg·8.00 bits/set·8.00 beats/set·0.13 punch density·1.63 tag density·1 set

This set·8 bits·8 beats·0.13 punch density·1.63 tag density

Watch Quentin Jones’s set

Skips to 1:59:33 in the episode

[Bit 1]

There's a fucking guy in a Pistons jersey right there.

Dennis Rodman jersey.

That's the four-time defensive player of the year.

Holy shit, Arvin, okay.

You're Mexican.

Sit down.

- The old Detroit Mexican over there.

A rare bird.

A parrot and a tree, if you will.

[Bit 2]

Like, yeah, we coded Nordstrom, kinda.

My job was to like, the emails,

and when you buy something, we just keep harassing you.

Yeah, that's my job, so.

[Bit 3]

So here's the fun thing,

I was actually a cheerleader at Michigan.

- Redman right on cue.

Completely making up for everything he said

this entire episode with one button push.

- No, you were right about that one thing.

- Yeah.

- The dick sweat was incredible.

- And you blew it, and then you blew it.

But you were, Red.

- Wow, so you were throwing little white girls up in the air.

- Yes I was, yes I was.

Living MLK's dream, I think that was part of it.

- Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely, goddamn Lutely, that is awesome.

[Bit 4]

- So I cheered from 2013 to 2015.

So I actually went to the shoe for Cardell,

when you guys won the Natty, Cardell Jones.

- That's us.

Yeah, so he literally ran a touchdown to my face

and said, "Oh, Buckeyes, bitch!"

I was like, "Damn, bro, that's a lie."

- That's right.

- That's gotta be the worst time to be a male cheerleader.

When a quarterback from the other team's like,

"What's up, bitch?"

- Ah, a six foot seven quarterback.

- You got a megaphone in your hand?

Like, "Ah."

- I had my problem.

- Stag, gummits.

I never thought about that.

- A posing player would run to the sideline,

seeing you and be like, "What's up, man?"

That's devastating.

[Bit 5]

You're a software engineer?

Well, you know why I do more ITs than engineers.

So you don't engineer anything,

you just fix broken shit.

Man, you send emails to people.

We heard--

- This feels like Cardell scoring again, doesn't it?

[Bit 6]

- I'm single right now, like I said,

been single for about three, four months.

- Okay.

- I got off the apps 'cause it was just like,

I paid for the apps and then when I saw who liked me,

after paying for the apps, I was like,

I gotta do better.

- Right.

- Yeah, exactly.

[Bit 7]

- They can't tell you're funny on an app.

- No, they can't, they can't.

- Yeah, I tried myself and not great.

- But they always like, "I want somebody to make me laugh."

And they're like, "Laugh."

[Bit 8]

- There's nothing worse than getting a DM on an app

that says, "I wanna suck your dick."

And you click on the profile and it's Chen.

- I gotta be honest with you, I bet Chen goes hard.

- Oh yeah, oh no doubt about it.

- I bet Chen.

- Can you imagine one of these nights

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Detroit Mexican could be exotic urban species.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupThere's a fucking guy in a Pistons jersey right there.

setupDennis Rodman jersey.

setupYou're Mexican.

setup- The old Detroit Mexican over there.

setupA rare bird.

punchlineA parrot and a tree, if you will.