2024-10-01
Set 5 · Episode 685
Mike Hammack
Bucket PullMan
Career avg·2.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.47 punch density·1.25 tag density·1 set
This set·2 bits·3 beats·0.47 punch density·1.25 tag density
Watch Mike Hammack’s set
Skips to 54:10 in the episode
[Bit 1]
I'm out here from Colorado Springs,
from a very traditional, conservative
Colorado Springs family.
My grandparents were married for 62 years.
They died four minutes apart.
Sounds sweet.
The doctors tell us that's very common in murder suicides.
Pretty much...
"Par for the course," is what he said.
[Bit 2]
America's got a lot of problems.
I think none worse than women in their 20s
having too much confidence.
Listen, I was hanging out with a comic,
and his girlfriend, couple of her friends were out.
We had a drink, we got a little silly.
One of them gives me like a half boob flash
and looks me dead in the eyes and goes,
"I bet I'm hotter than your wife."
Yeah, what do you say? I panicked.
I didn't know what to say. I'm like, "Yeah, maybe you're 22,
but you're not hotter than my house and kids."
Like, I have a 3% mortgage.
You think I'm gonna risk that on fucking you?
Are you out of your goddamn mind?
-It's a pre-COVID mortgage. What are you doing right now?
What are your tits made out of?
"Custody, get the fuck out of here!"
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Dying minutes apart implies romantic devotion, but reveals a murder-suicide pattern.”
Joke Type
misdirectLines
setupI'm out here from Colorado Springs,
setupfrom a very traditional, conservative
setupColorado Springs family.
setupMy grandparents were married for 62 years.
setupThey died four minutes apart.
setupSounds sweet.
punchlineThe doctors tell us that's very common in murder suicides.
punchlinePretty much...
tag"Par for the course," is what he said.