KT #754 - BERT KREISCHER + RICK INGRAHAM
2026-02-03
Set 3 · Episode 754
Greg Bergman
Bucket PullLarge Joke Book
Career avg·2.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.34 punch density·1.50 tag density·1 set
This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.34 punch density·1.50 tag density·Large Joke Book
Watch Greg Bergman’s set
Skips to 25:20 in the episode
[Bit 1]
I'm in a great mood, I'm dating a beautiful girl.
Beautiful girl, I shouldn't say girl,
she actually identifies as non-binary.
Yeah, which I gotta say,
fellas, it's the best of both worlds.
You know, I come home from work,
I'm in a, depending on my mood,
I can make love to her or beat the shit out of him,
You get away with it, no, no, no, officer,
she put on the makeup to cover the black eye I gave him,
not the other way around, you know?
You get away with it, it's amazing.
[Bit 2]
I have to tell Austin I have the biggest penis in Austin.
This is a fact.
Look up.
I do.
I have the biggest dick in Austin.
I'm not bragging.
I bought it.
About 10 years ago, Lincoln would say half a score,
I got a penis implant.
Made a movie about a pig like me.
And there's only one caveat.
They can only make it thicker, not longer.
You know?
And I'm a little disproportionate.
I got to be honest.
You're supposed to go twice, I went three times,
third time, not a charm.
I'm hung like a hockey puck.
It's really a couple cans of tuna stacked
on top of one another, but not that cheap bumblebee shit.
Talk about that albacore, about that solid white meat.
That's what I got.
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“A non-binary partner implies sexual versatility, but reveals a domestic-violence loophole.”
Joke Type
misdirectLines
setupI'm in a great mood, I'm dating a beautiful girl.
setupBeautiful girl, I shouldn't say girl,
setupshe actually identifies as non-binary.
setupYeah, which I gotta say,
setupfellas, it's the best of both worlds.
setupYou know, I come home from work,
setupI'm in a, depending on my mood,
punchlineI can make love to her or beat the shit out of him,