Bruce D'Tore

Bucket Pull

Career avg·5.00 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.35 punch density·0.20 tag density·1 set

This set·5 bits·5 beats·0.35 punch density·0.20 tag density

Watch Bruce D'Tore’s set

Skips to 2:01:11 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Yeah, that's right. Suck it in, ladies.

This is what Jeff Bezos would look like without any money.

[Bit 2]

This is the improved me.

I've lost 60 pounds, but I didn't get the results I wanted.

I ended up with loose skin.

I wanted a tight-toned stomach.

I ended up with a belly that looks like a used grocery bag.

[Bit 3]

If my body was an amusement park, it would be six red flags.

[Bit 4]

And everything's going crazy now.

Everybody's like, "Oh, the fuck? Trump's in office."

But, you know, I'm looking forward to it.

Because quite frankly, I like Hispanic women.

With all this talk of deportation,

there's got to be somebody cute out there that wants a green card.

[Bit 5]

He just renamed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America.

I can't wait to see what he does next.

There's a body of water that borders the west coast of this great country.

We're going to call it the Great American Ocean.

What are you going to call the one on the other side? The other American Ocean.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“A bald loser is like Jeff Bezos because both are bald.”

Joke Type

analogy

Lines

setupYeah, that's right. Suck it in, ladies.

punchlineThis is what Jeff Bezos would look like without any money.