2024-07-30

Set 10 · Episode 674

Jacob Marshall

Bucket PullLarge Joke Book

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·1.00 beats/set·0.05 punch density·0.00 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·1 beat·0.05 punch density·0.00 tag density·Large Joke Book

Watch Jacob Marshall’s set

Skips to 1:31:06 in the episode

[Bit 1]

So I used to have an Apple Watch.

I don't anymore, I got rid of it.

I hated it.

'Cause there's this thing you can do with Apple watches

where you can connect them to a friend

that has an Apple watch,

and it'll tell you when they finish a workout.

Which is terrible.

Because backstory, I was dating this girl

for like three and a half years.

We break up, it's a Saturday night,

a few months after the breakup.

I'm sitting on the couch with my best friend

watching a UFC pay-per-view.

And at midnight, I get a notification on my watch

that says, "Kylie just finished a 17-minute cardio exercise."

So y'all are smarter than me.

'Cause I looked at my friend, I was like,

"It's a little late for a run."

He was like, "Jacob, she's not running.

"She's being ran through right now, dude."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“A late cardio notification implies exercise, but reveals sex.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupSo I used to have an Apple Watch.

setupI don't anymore, I got rid of it.

setupI hated it.

setup'Cause there's this thing you can do with Apple watches

setupwhere you can connect them to a friend

setupthat has an Apple watch,

setupand it'll tell you when they finish a workout.

setupWhich is terrible.

setupBecause backstory, I was dating this girl

setupfor like three and a half years.

setupWe break up, it's a Saturday night,

setupa few months after the breakup.

setupI'm sitting on the couch with my best friend

setupwatching a UFC pay-per-view.

setupAnd at midnight, I get a notification on my watch

setupthat says, "Kylie just finished a 17-minute cardio exercise."

setupSo y'all are smarter than me.

setup'Cause I looked at my friend, I was like,

setup"It's a little late for a run."

setupHe was like, "Jacob, she's not running.

punchline"She's being ran through right now, dude."