Set 5 · Episode 598
Marcus Bond
Bucket PullManBlack
Career avg·2.00 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.30 punch density·1.00 tag density·1 set
This set·2 bits·5 beats·0.30 punch density·1.00 tag density
Watch Marcus Bond’s set
Skips to 1:18:32 in the episode
[Bit 1]
I'm new here to Austin.
I just moved here.
Thank you, one clap.
All right, fuck with it.
And I need to get a haircut,
and I need a black barber, all right?
'Cause I can't go to a white barber, you know?
I went to a white barber one time,
they fucked my hair up so bad,
I walked outside and I got a job.
worst haircut I ever had.
Well, that's not why I'm getting haircuts,
to be employable.
So I need a black barber.
I've been looking for one here in Austin
and it turns out the best black barber in Austin
is in Houston.
So, can't wait to take off work.
[Bit 2]
I got a buddy of mine,
he's been getting into astrology lately
and he's been real annoying with the way
he's trying to get me into it.
Like last Tuesday he hit me up,
he said, "Hey, babe, let's go to the club."
I said, "But it's Tuesday."
Then he said, "Oh, I know.
It's just mercury's got the hose out tonight."
I was like, "All right.
Mercury, huh?"
I said, "I don't think that's how that works."
But I went, you know?
And let me tell you,
the hose were in abundance that night.
Boy, it was a good night.
Now I have a telescope at home
just so I can track mercury.
My friends are like, "Yo, we going out tonight?"
I'm like, "Uh, it seems so.
Let's get it, boys. Let's go."
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“A white barber is like a job interview because both make a black man look employable.”
Joke Type
analogyLines
setupI'm new here to Austin.
setupI just moved here.
setupAnd I need to get a haircut,
setupand I need a black barber, all right?
setup'Cause I can't go to a white barber, you know?
setupI went to a white barber one time,
setupthey fucked my hair up so bad,
punchlineI walked outside and I got a job.
tagworst haircut I ever had.
tagWell, that's not why I'm getting haircuts,
tagto be employable.