2025-07-29

Set 12 · Episode 729

Bill Williams

Bucket Pull

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·0.12 punch density·0.00 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·2 beats·0.12 punch density·0.00 tag density

Watch Bill Williams’s set

Skips to 1:48:10 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I like watching murder shows.

You're like True Crime, Forensic Files, stuff like that.

But I noticed recently that whenever they do

the reenactments, the actors are always way better looking

than the real victims.

Somebody's all sad, like, oh man,

I can't believe they murdered that beautiful lady.

But then I see the real victim, and I'm like, man.

It's all good.

[Bit 2]

I'm dating, and dating's hard.

That day I saw this gorgeous woman sitting at a bar.

I walked up to her and said, you're stunning.

You must work out all the time.

She said, "No, and I'm a mom."

I said, "Wow, you don't even look like you had kids."

She said, "If I told you that this body

gave birth to five children, what would you say?"

So I said, "Goodbye."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Ugly victims is widely understood but rarely said aloud.”

Joke Type

elephant-in-the-room

Lines

setupI like watching murder shows.

setupYou're like True Crime, Forensic Files, stuff like that.

setupBut I noticed recently that whenever they do

setupthe reenactments, the actors are always way better looking

setupthan the real victims.

setupSomebody's all sad, like, oh man,

setupI can't believe they murdered that beautiful lady.

setupBut then I see the real victim, and I'm like, man.

punchlineIt's all good.