2025-03-18

Set 7 · Episode 711

Peter Gonzalez

Bucket Pull

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.73 punch density·1.75 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.73 punch density·1.75 tag density

Watch Peter Gonzalez’s set

Skips to 1:32:39 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Yeah, I recently left San Antonio,

and people always ask me why I left San Antonio.

And the answer is I just got tired of remembering the Alamo.

That's like San Antonio's motto, you know?

Every year ago, people were like,

"Hey, do you remember what happened?"

I'm like, "No, I don't."

And it's not because I'm an asshole or anything.

I'm just tired of white people giving me tests.

You know, like I was at the Alamo Starbucks,

and the waitress, she tells me,

"Hey, can I get a name for your order?"

And can I also-- can you also tell me

who won the battle in the Alamo?

I was like, "Nah, bro, next question."

[Bit 2]

Yeah, I've been in Austin for a couple months now.

Yeah, bro, yeah.

Been here for a couple months and I like it, man.

It's really different, you know?

Like, they got a lot of white homeless people here.

Yeah, bro, like, white homeless people are way different

than regular homeless people, you know?

Like, this guy paid my college tuition off and shit.

Yeah, bro, it was like meeting Santa Claus on heroin.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Leaving San Antonio implies personal reasons, but reveals exhaustion with the Alamo motto.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupYeah, I recently left San Antonio,

setupand people always ask me why I left San Antonio.

punchlineAnd the answer is I just got tired of remembering the Alamo.

tagThat's like San Antonio's motto, you know?

tagEvery year ago, people were like,

tag"Hey, do you remember what happened?"

tagI'm like, "No, I don't."

tagAnd it's not because I'm an asshole or anything.