2025-03-18

Set 3 · Episode 711

Sammy Blumenthal

Bucket PullWomanBisexual

Career avg·3.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.19 punch density·0.25 tag density·1 set

This set·3 bits·4 beats·0.19 punch density·0.25 tag density

Watch Sammy Blumenthal’s set

Skips to 28:11 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Hey, this year I became a mom.

Yeah, thank you, thank you so much.

I've been trying to breastfeed

and he's having a really hard time latching.

I just wish someone told me that would happen

before I got the dog.

[Bit 2]

I have a German Shepherd,

which is really empowering as a Jewish woman.

I named him after my late great grandfather,

Oh, one, seven, six, nine, four.

[Bit 3]

I love my dog.

He just is really particular,

like especially when we go outside.

He takes so long.

I'm like, "Come on, is this your spot?

"Is this your spot?

"Poop for me.

"Is this your spot?

"Is this your spot?"

Now I know how my ex felt

every time he tried to make me cum, you know?

Might take a long time.

But now I get it, though. I get it.

I understand his perspective.

So now when I try to get him to go quicker,

I just go, "Shh, take your toy.

Close your eyes.

And pretend I'm literally anyone else."

And he poops... immediately.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“New mom breastfeeding implies human baby, but reveals a dog.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupHey, this year I became a mom.

setupI've been trying to breastfeed

setupand he's having a really hard time latching.

setupI just wish someone told me that would happen

punchlinebefore I got the dog.