
KILL TONY #506 - BRIAN HOLTZMAN
2021-05-25
Set 8 · Episode 506
Emily
Bucket PullWoman
Career avg·1.00 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·0.25 punch density·0.50 tag density·1 set
This set·1 bit·2 beats·0.25 punch density·0.50 tag density
Watch Emily’s set
Skips to 1:28:23 in the episode
[Bit 1]
So, I have never been slapped with a more prime example
of somebody needing to get their priorities straight
and that time my apartment exploded in Florida, right?
So I run into my roommate's bedroom, find her sobbing
over some $35 handbags from Macy's.
I'm like, woman, there is a bonfire in our living room.
Can we go?
Shit's still got the tags on it. She's bawling her eyes out now me granted. I'm talking like Florida ceiling bonfire, right?
I've always wanted a skylight never thought that was how the universe was gonna answer that question
But hey beggars can't be choosers, right? So
Anyways me and my pack I got like a couple chairs a couple changes of clothes couple bottles of water
I grabbed like a fucking packet of tuna for some reason and I run back into her room thinking all the way
I'm about to have to drag this bitch out of our apartment, right?
I'm thinking like bridal style cross the threshold some curtail of dresses flowing behind us like some fucked up wedding train
Shakes one look at me. I'm gonna look at the tuna go damn girl. You need to get your priorities straight
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“An apartment explosion could be misunderstood as fulfilling a home-improvement wish.”
Joke Type
reframeLines
setupSo, I have never been slapped with a more prime example
setupof somebody needing to get their priorities straight
setupand that time my apartment exploded in Florida, right?
setupSo I run into my roommate's bedroom, find her sobbing
setupover some $35 handbags from Macy's.
setupI'm like, woman, there is a bonfire in our living room.
setupCan we go?
setupShit's still got the tags on it. She's bawling her eyes out now me granted. I'm talking like Florida ceiling bonfire, right?
punchlineI've always wanted a skylight never thought that was how the universe was gonna answer that question
tagBut hey beggars can't be choosers, right? So