Riley Gilmore

Bucket PullMedium Joke Book

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·1.13 punch density·3.50 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·2 beats·1.13 punch density·3.50 tag density·Medium Joke Book

Watch Riley Gilmore’s set

Skips to 44:38 in the episode

[Bit 1]

- The other day I got a sad ending massage.

They jizzed on me, so it was,

just gotta, what the fuck, dude?

Fucking Groupon.

Mom, can you pick me up?

Not going back there, but that place sucks.

[Bit 2]

I was thinking about that phrase, thoughts and prayers.

It's like, people said after a tragedy,

they're like, I send you my thoughts and my prayers.

I get sent your prayers, that makes sense,

It's like you want to send your thoughts, say,

"Yeah, I'm praying for your family, tits."

Thinking about getting a bike, what else?

Fucking might have a lasagna later, but,

lasagna titties, that'd be cool,

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“A sad ending massage implies a happy ending, but reveals an ejaculation.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setup- The other day I got a sad ending massage.

punchlineThey jizzed on me, so it was,

tagjust gotta, what the fuck, dude?

tagFucking Groupon.

tagMom, can you pick me up?

tagNot going back there, but that place sucks.