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2026-01-27

Dave Litz

Bucket PullSmall Joke Book

Watch Dave Litz's Kill Tony episode 753 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 2 joke beats, 0.26 punch density, 1.50 tag density.

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·0.26 punch density·1.50 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·2 beats·0.26 punch density·1.50 tag density·Small Joke Book

- Hey, everybody.

Waka waka waka.

Nanu nanu.

[Bit 1]

My mother-in-law survived stage four pancreatic cancer

by having her pancreas cut out.

That's right.

Yeah, my mother-in-law was born in Sendai, Japan,

And in Japan, they don't have the same diseases that we do.

They don't have the same health problems.

They don't have pancreatic cancer.

So they gave her two choices.

They were like, you can either live and we,

"Cut out your pancreas," or you keep your pancreas in

and you die.

So she was like, "I want to leave."

So they, "Cut out our pancreas."

So she now has a permanent insulin pump

and type 3 diabetes, which I like to call triabetics.

So in one woman, my mother-in-law,

the Japanese cured pancreatic cancer,

they invented a cyborg, and they perfected triabetics.

So you know why these Japanese can't keep a secret?

Because they're always spilling their guts.

You see that?

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

phonetic-match

Lines

setupMy mother-in-law survived stage four pancreatic cancer

setupby having her pancreas cut out.

setupYeah, my mother-in-law was born in Sendai, Japan,

setupAnd in Japan, they don't have the same diseases that we do.

setupThey don't have the same health problems.

setupThey don't have pancreatic cancer.

setupSo they gave her two choices.

setupThey were like, you can either live and we,

setup"Cut out your pancreas," or you keep your pancreas in

setupand you die.

setupSo she was like, "I want to leave."

setupSo they, "Cut out our pancreas."

setupSo she now has a permanent insulin pump

punchlineand type 3 diabetes, which I like to call triabetics.

tagSo in one woman, my mother-in-law,

tagthe Japanese cured pancreatic cancer,

tagthey invented a cyborg, and they perfected triabetics.