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2025-04-01

Jimmy Moynihan

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Watch Jimmy Moynihan's Kill Tony episode 713 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 2 joke beats, 0.32 punch density, 2.00 tag density.

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·0.32 punch density·2.00 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·2 beats·0.32 punch density·2.00 tag density

-Thanks, everybody. You guys seem very nice, which is good.

[Bit 1]

I've been -- I've been depressed lately.

But I have a therapist now, which is good,

I can't. They're not helpful.

The other day, I was talking to my buddy.

I'm like, "I don't know, man.

I think if it wasn't for my parents,

I'd probably kill myself."

And he was like, "Yeah, I think your parents would understand.

I mean, they love you, but ultimately,

they want what's best for their son."

[Bit 2]

I had that one married friend who has, like, a family,

so he thinks his problems are worse than everyone else's,

you know? We were out late, and he says,

"I have to go home. I'm sorry.

I've been up since 8 a.m.

I'm like, "I had to wake up at 7 a.m."

And he goes, "Yeah, but you don't have a wife

and three kids at home."

I'm like, "Oh, yeah, no, you're right.

Every morning when I wake up tired and depressed,

I think to myself, 'Well, at least I'm alone.'"

Oh, man, I had that nightmare again,

where I had a loving family.

Hey, thank you very much. Okay.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI've been -- I've been depressed lately.

setupBut I have a therapist now, which is good,

setupI can't. They're not helpful.

setupThe other day, I was talking to my buddy.

setupI'm like, "I don't know, man.

setupI think if it wasn't for my parents,

setupI'd probably kill myself."

punchlineAnd he was like, "Yeah, I think your parents would understand.

tagI mean, they love you, but ultimately,

tagthey want what's best for their son."