Set 7 · Episode 691
Kimberly Congdon
RegularWoman
Career avg·7.00 bits/set·7.00 beats/set·0.23 punch density·0.00 tag density·1 set
This set·7 bits·7 beats·0.23 punch density·0.00 tag density
Watch Kimberly Congdon’s set
Skips to 1:32:31 in the episode
[Bit 1]
and I am a Puerto Rican comedian.
These are my white slaves.
[Bit 2]
And I really wanted to take this opportunity tonight
to do something that every Puerto Rican
wants to do right now.
-Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
[Bit 3]
But I did watch the -- I watched the Trump rally, dude.
I watched Tony's speech.
I was a little bit upset.
You know, I got to tell you, half my blood is Puerto Rican.
It's true. Unlike Tony's blood.
Half of his is HIV.
[Bit 4]
As you see--as you see at the back,
my white slaves are holding some Puerto Rican flags.
Those are Puerto Rican flags, people.
They look different. They do.
They have one star, just like Tony's first Netflix special.
[Bit 5]
Tony, you called Puerto Rico an island full of piles of hot trash,
which is very close to what you like.
Islands full of piles of hot boys, you f*** it.
[Bit 6]
And I'm here to stand up for my people tonight
'cause I'm gonna say Puerto Ricans are American as fuck.
We're just like y'all.
We have a lot of American contributions and traits.
We love our culture, we love our music,
we work in aerospace, we don't want white people
on our island, we're racist like you guys.
[Bit 7]
And this is the last thing I'll say, Tony,
I think it's fucking insane that you don't like Puerto Rico.
It's a beautiful place and the only dirty parts
have been taken over by white billionaires.
It's literally Austin, you idiot.
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“A Puerto Rican comedian with white slaves is widely understood but rarely said aloud.”
Joke Type
elephant-in-the-roomLines
setupand I am a Puerto Rican comedian.
punchlineThese are my white slaves.