2025-09-09

Set 1 · Episode 734

Chris Celio

Bucket PullDisabled

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.87 punch density·1.17 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.87 punch density·1.17 tag density

Watch Chris Celio’s set

Skips to 6:13 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I fucking just moved here.

I moved from Miami.

I moved 1000 miles away

from where I grew up my entire life.

Now I really don't know where the fuck I am.

It's like I'm in a part of a video game

that hasn't loaded yet.

It sucks that like I'm the only guy in here

that just gets stuck like a Roomba.

Like if I don't tap, tap, tap and find the exit,

I'm just gonna stand there and beep

until somebody picks me up.

Like home.

"Home, please, I have to shit."

You don't know how long you can hold in a shit until you're me.

And you never know where another bathroom's ever gonna be, dude.

You're like, "Well, I guess I'm never gonna shit again."

[Bit 2]

It sucks that, like, I'm the only guy in here

that has to send his dick pics to his boys first for approval.

Yeah, I gotta be like, "Yo, yo, yo, yo, is this a good one?"

And then they get to be like,

"Why is your dog in the shot, Chris?

Were you aiming for all balls by chance?

This is just half your cock and not the good half.

It's all root. Nobody wants all root."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Being lost in a new city could be like being in an unloaded video game.”

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupI fucking just moved here.

setupI moved from Miami.

setupI moved 1000 miles away

setupfrom where I grew up my entire life.

setupNow I really don't know where the fuck I am.

punchlineIt's like I'm in a part of a video game

punchlinethat hasn't loaded yet.