2025-10-28

Set 5 · Episode 741

Austin Young

Bucket PullLarge Joke Book

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·0.46 punch density·2.17 tag density·2 sets

This set·1 bit·2 beats·0.35 punch density·1.33 tag density

Watch Austin Young’s set

Skips to 1:05:59 in the episode

[Bit 1]

My dad's a big fan that I live here.

And he really wants me to get a gun.

And here's the thing, I've never owned a gun

and it's not for like political or moral reasons.

It's just, I like to keep a gun in the house

for the same reason I like to keep ice cream there.

You know, I like to keep temptation.

Oh wait, all right, because sometimes

I get sad and I have no self control,

so I don't need that in my life.

But my dad's like really adamant about it.

He's like, Austin, you're a Texan now,

you gotta get yourself a gun.

Like, what are you gonna do for home defense?

How are you gonna protect yourself?

Somebody breaks in.

I say, listen, dad, I am six foot four

and over 300 pounds and I sleep naked, all right?

That is scarier than any man with a gun could ever be,

all right?

I got the body of Shrek in the face of a toddler.

Can you imagine seeing this?

Just running out of the darkness?

Just fucking terrifying, dude.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Keeping a gun around implies home defense, but reveals self-harm temptation.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupMy dad's a big fan that I live here.

setupAnd he really wants me to get a gun.

setupAnd here's the thing, I've never owned a gun

setupand it's not for like political or moral reasons.

setupIt's just, I like to keep a gun in the house

setupfor the same reason I like to keep ice cream there.

setupYou know, I like to keep temptation.

setupOh wait, all right, because sometimes

punchlineI get sad and I have no self control,

tagso I don't need that in my life.