Jesse Burlingame

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Watch Jesse Burlingame's Kill Tony episode 513 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 3 bits, 6 joke beats, 0.78 punch density, 0.17 tag density.

Career avg·2.50 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.68 punch density·0.83 tag density·2 sets

This set·3 bits·6 beats·0.78 punch density·0.17 tag density·Big Joke Book

[Bit 1]

What's up, guys? Yes, this is the haircut that I asked for.

Thank you.

Told my barber, "Can you make me look like I sell bad weed

but have good coke?"

He was like, "I don't know what you mean."

I'm like, "Can you make me look like I shoot hoops and heroin?"

I was like, "Can you make me look like I use the A and the E-R?"

I was like, "Oh, all right, I got you, I got you."

[Bit 2]

I'm not racist, I am not racist.

A lot of my friends are white girls in their 20s.

They would have called me up by now.

They would have said something on Twitter, probably.

[Bit 3]

One of them accused me of toxic masculinity.

You guys heard this term toxic masculinity.

Uh, I asked my dad what toxic masculinity is.

He said, "Shut the fuck up, pussy."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

punchlineWhat's up, guys? Yes, this is the haircut that I asked for.