Gus Swanda

Bucket PullMedium Joke Book

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.25 punch density·0.25 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·4 beats·0.25 punch density·0.25 tag density·Medium Joke Book

Watch Gus Swanda’s set

Skips to 1:24:05 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I recently moved back to the United States after living in South Korea for

30 years, so I'm experienced a bit of a culture shock

The biggest difference is the things you can't say now in America that you could 30 years can't say

Apparently you can't say homeless you have to say unhoused. I tested this theory out

I saw homeless guy the other day and I said

Do you prefer the term homeless or unhoused and I will never forget what he said to me was so poignant

He said to me, "Stop stealing my thoughts!"

as he stabbed me repeatedly.

You know, you can't say the word "retard" anymore.

That's a new one. You have to say "Democrat."

Um, yeah, you know, a mechanic kicked me out of show.

I was shopping the other day just for telling them

that I blew my -- blew a tranny.

It's like, "That's homophobic."

I'm like, "No, it's -- I drive too hard."

Um, the worst one -- you can't say "f--k" anymore.

-Go ahead. Go ahead. Finish it. Finish it.

-No, I mean, you have to say, "A bundle of sticks

with which to start a fire with."

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“Politely asking a homeless person their preferred label implies a thoughtful response, but reveals paranoid violence.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI recently moved back to the United States after living in South Korea for

setup30 years, so I'm experienced a bit of a culture shock

setupThe biggest difference is the things you can't say now in America that you could 30 years can't say

setupApparently you can't say homeless you have to say unhoused. I tested this theory out

setupI saw homeless guy the other day and I said

setupDo you prefer the term homeless or unhoused and I will never forget what he said to me was so poignant

punchlineHe said to me, "Stop stealing my thoughts!"

tagas he stabbed me repeatedly.