2026-03-17

Set 12 · Episode 760

Timmy No-Breaks

Bucket PullBlack

Career avg·6.25 bits/set·9.00 beats/set·0.12 punch density·0.80 tag density·4 sets

This set·9 bits·19 beats·0.14 punch density·0.21 tag density

Watch Timmy No-Breaks’s set

Skips to 2:07:07 in the episode

[Bit 1]

and welcome to Timmy Ass.

[Bit 2]

On my neck is a shock collar.

And in my hand is the remote.

If you press this orange button, it will shock me.

Now, if I bomb, one of you guys will get to shock me.

I won't bomb 'cause I don't bomb.

But this, this is the bomb shot collar.

Now, because this is a dog collar,

I will give it to this lesbian bitch.

[Bit 3]

Did you guys see during the Olympics

how that girl, Lindsey Vonn broke up?

What the fuck are you doing, you dumb whore?

I'm in the set up, wait for the punch, fuck.

- Tom, this is an uninterrupted--

- I know. - Shut the fuck up.

- Take it from the top, here we go.

And action

Did you guys shut the fuck up Matt? I'm trying to do the minute it doesn't even sound like the fucking thing

I'm about to say the n-word if you do it again. I'm gonna fucking freak out

Okay start the timer now red band here we go did you guys see

The Olympics, that scare, Lindsey Vonn broke a leg, you know?

Sad.

You know where that wouldn't have happened?

The kitchen, boom, fuck you.

I'm gonna be honest, I love the women's Olympics.

I do. Yeah, I do.

Yeah, I do.

I think every woman's sport should only be televised once every four years.

Guys, everybody, give it up for the woman's hockey team.

They won gold.

Yeah.

Yeah, finally, a positive video

featuring white woman and ice.

Take that, you lesbian.

I love the WNBA.

I don't. I really don't. I'm serious.

Yeah, I mean, it's lame that they can't dunk, you know?

It's just a bunch of twos and threes.

They're ugly. Bull-- fuck!

[Bit 4]

Wow. Does this guy have a dick on his forehead?

[Bit 5]

This lady's having the time of her life.

She has waited what appears to be 45 years

to have this kind of control over a man.

We need to get--we may have solved how to fix

every blue-haired woman in America.

- Ha! - Give them one day

the man in a shock collar.

Unlimited power. - Who is this guy?

[Bit 6]

My name is Timmy No Brakes, and this is the copyright infringement.

On the count of three,

Get it.

The band will play Limp Bizkit's Nookie and this entire episode will be demonetized.

[Bit 7]

Hi, my name is Timmy No Breaks, and this is the taste test.

-Oh, my God.

-Inside of that cup is three real, actual,

fluid ounces of horse cum from a man.

[Bit 8]

I'm going after this show.

We're gonna go to Mitzi's bar,

and I'm gonna punch you in the dick so hard

that it falls off and none of the gay guys

are gonna be able to suck it anymore.

[Bit 9]

My name is Timmy No-Breaks, and this is trivia for retards.

If you get the question wrong,

and these are fifth grade level questions,

you have to take a sip of Tones tap water.

Tone, you have to continue to not drink the horse cum

if you get it wrong. - Okay.

There's no way Tone is going to be able to resist that horse cum now.

I know he's gonna reach over and do it.

Wait a second.

Steve-O, let's start with you.

Tone's tap water was created by A, Tone Hinge Cliff,

B, Tone the Tiger, or C, Liquid Death.

I'm gonna go with A.

You do not have to drink that water.

Um, next question is for you, Tim.

In a 2025 double-blind peer-reviewed study

conducted by independent researchers,

what was found in Tohms tap water?

Was it A, mercury, B, lead, C, arsenic,

B, Teflon, E, Zyklon B, F, zyrtec, G, MSG,

H, bluechew, I, horse cum, or J, all the above?

Okay. Red band for you.

Where is Tones tap water sourced?

Is it A, Flint, Michigan, or...

Or B, all of the above?

-All of the above. -You don't have to drink

don't have to drink Tone's tap water. Last question, Tone. This is for you. Who flew

on Epstein's private jet eight times? Was it A) Barack Obama, B) George Bush, or C)

Donald Trump? I have to buzz in for the answer. Okay, all right. This, I'm gonna leave right here, and I'm

I'm leaving right now. Fuck you. Fuck...

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“and welcome to Timmy Ass.”

Joke Type

double-meaning

Lines

punchlineand welcome to Timmy Ass.