Set 8 · Episode 692

Leslie Childs

Bucket PullDisabledSmall Joke Book

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·6.00 beats/set·0.32 punch density·0.50 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·6 beats·0.32 punch density·0.50 tag density·Small Joke Book

Watch Leslie Childs’s set

Skips to 1:23:43 in the episode

[Bit 1]

Just tell you a little bit about myself.

I'm a single father.

been raising my son by myself now for 11 years.

Now that's a long ass time to be doing something

by yourself, right?

So you're probably wondering the same thing

everybody keeps asking me, where the mom at?

And that's a fair question.

And I love telling people the honest God truth

'cause there's nothing fucking fun here.

See when my son was two weeks old, my baby mama,

that bitch took off with a midget.

That's not a punchline.

This bitch actually took off with a midget

and to this day I don't know what pisses me off more.

The fact that she took off with a midget

or the fact that the midget was wearing cargo shorts.

You ever seen a emo midget wearing cargo shorts?

That shit will hurt your pride as a man.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Honestly, he looked like he was coming down

in his shortcomings though for real.

And look, this bitch had the nerves to call me back up

after about a week,

talking about the midget throwing beer cans at her

and fucking hitting her with cans and shit.

I was like, bitch, that sounds like a short relationship.

[Bit 2]

But look, on some serious shit though, my son,

he's 11 years old and there was half the periodic table

and the first 22 digits of pi.

Not to pat myself on the shoulder,

but I don't think I did too bad

for a guy who fell to the retarded class every year.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“A missing mother implies ordinary abandonment, but reveals replacement by a little person.”

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupJust tell you a little bit about myself.

setupI'm a single father.

setupbeen raising my son by myself now for 11 years.

setupNow that's a long ass time to be doing something

setupby yourself, right?

setupSo you're probably wondering the same thing

setupeverybody keeps asking me, where the mom at?

setupAnd that's a fair question.

setupAnd I love telling people the honest God truth

setup'cause there's nothing fucking fun here.

setupSee when my son was two weeks old, my baby mama,

punchlinethat bitch took off with a midget.

tagThat's not a punchline.

tagThis bitch actually took off with a midget