Set 6 · Episode 762
Chad Smith
Bucket Pull
Career avg·18.00 bits/set·18.00 beats/set·0.48 punch density·2.40 tag density·1 set
This set·18 bits·18 beats·0.48 punch density·2.40 tag density
Watch Chad Smith’s set
Skips to 59:02 in the episode
[Bit 1]
I'm Chad, I am from Oshkosh, Wisconsin.
I am here on my birthday.
If you guys don't know where Oshkosh is,
That's where Chicago sends all their prisoners.
[Bit 2]
Thing about turning 40 is more trips to the bathroom
and seeing that doctor visiting that bat cave every year,
[Bit 3]
Here's some fun facts about me, right?
I didn't learn the birds and the bees growing up.
My uncle gave me a playboy, and I learned how to count backwards
from Bill Cosby.
That one takes a little bit to sink in.
Speaking of Bill, did he still do stand-up in prison,
or was he the chocolate pudding?
That's right.
Fun fact about me is I work insurance.
There we go.
Chad Smith.
Welcome, Chad.
This is your first time on the show?
First time on the show.
- First time on the show. - Awesome.
When you say that one takes a little bit to sink in,
when exactly can we expect that to happen?
Is there a week or a month coming up where --
-Two or three business days? -Yeah.
We're just gonna be out there, living our lives,
and all of a sudden, just like, "Oh-ho-ho-ho!"
"Oh, shh."
It was puddin' because he was puddin'.
He was puddin'.
Okay, Chad, how long have you been doing stand-up comedy?
-Dune stand up, this is two and a half years.
-Two and a half years, all of it in Oshkosh?
-Mixture between Bark Entertainment,
which is Skyline Company Cafe, and then --
-Bark Enter-- What?
-So, all the way across to Wisconsin.
So, everywhere from Waukee up until Greenback.
-Got it. Got it.
-I hate this guy.
-He has off-duty cop vibes, for sure.
-I don't know why. I just don't like it.
-Let me see you license this prick.
Gosh, gosh.
Amazing.
There's nothing much up there.
It's just-- it's planes.
Why don't you have the accent?
When you're from the Midwest, you get a mix of Minnesota.
So I do say a boat a lot.
And then in the airport, you guys laugh at me
because I say bag instead of bag.
For some reason, I doubt that.
I don't think anyone's ever laughed at you.
He's too calculate.
I don't like this guy.
He's up to something.
It takes a little bit to sink in.
Don't count him out yet.
He may be the funniest person in the show's history.
We just don't know because it's on a delayed release.
-I'm gonna get home tonight and be like, "Ah!"
-We all just died tonight. He killed.
-I feel like we're all high in a car,
and he just pulled us over.
-Are you a boy who's headed? -Yeah.
He's chewing gum. You guys been drinking tonight?
What, are you getting tough, guys?
-No pat down for me.
-Phew.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, say that joke again.
Yeah, do it one more time, the one that takes a while to sink in.
All right, so it's spelled out this way,
so I never learned the birds and the bees.
My uncle gave me a playboy,
and I learned how to count backwards from Bill Cosby.
Learn how to count backwards.
[Bit 4]
Speaking of Bill, did he still do stand-up in prison,
or was he the chocolate pudding?
[Bit 5]
When you say that one takes a little bit to sink in,
when exactly can we expect that to happen?
Is there a week or a month coming up where --
-Two or three business days? -Yeah.
We're just gonna be out there, living our lives,
and all of a sudden, just like, "Oh-ho-ho-ho!"
"Oh, shh."
It was puddin' because he was puddin'.
He was puddin'.
[Bit 6]
-He has off-duty cop vibes, for sure.
-I don't know why. I just don't like it.
-Let me see you license this prick.
[Bit 7]
When you're from the Midwest, you get a mix of Minnesota.
So I do say a boat a lot.
And then in the airport, you guys laugh at me
because I say bag instead of bag.
For some reason, I doubt that.
I don't think anyone's ever laughed at you.
[Bit 8]
He's too calculate.
I don't like this guy.
He's up to something.
It takes a little bit to sink in.
Don't count him out yet.
He may be the funniest person in the show's history.
We just don't know because it's on a delayed release.
-I'm gonna get home tonight and be like, "Ah!"
-We all just died tonight. He killed.
[Bit 9]
-I feel like we're all high in a car,
and he just pulled us over.
-Are you a boy who's headed? -Yeah.
He's chewing gum. You guys been drinking tonight?
What, are you getting tough, guys?
-No pat down for me.
[Bit 10]
I don't get it. Does everybody get it?
You're wrong. Your uncle drugged you and raped you
Right what is that the joke? No, it takes it takes a little bit bill
I always come backwards when he gave the date rape drug. I know but so did he rape you you're saying Bill Cosby raped you
No, oh no
Did no birds and bees gave me a playboy who did your uncle gave me the playboy and separately from that
Separate Joe Bill Cosby taught you to come. Yes
-What? -But it still seems like
Cosby's raping you in this joke, no?
-No! -Wait, so you weren't raped
by your uncle? -No!
-Or Bill Cosby. -Damn it!
[Bit 11]
Well, how did Bill Cosby
teach you how to count backwards, then?
-Well, when you're almost 40 years old,
you've seen him on TV every week, girl, now.
-And does he count backwards on TV?
-Yeah, was there an episode? -See, chances like that,
The answer is like that. It doesn't make sense, but you say it so confidently.
I don't like this fucking guy, and he's fucking up to something, man.
Ari walks in at the same time, there's something fucking going on here.
I don't know if you're with this dude or what, man.
Ari brought his travel agent with us.
It's Ari's big bit. He's like, "Dude, just go out and be the most unfunny dude in the world."
It's gonna kill.
Now, who wants two tickets to Paraguay?
- So, show me, uh...
- ♪ Two tickets to Paraguay ♪
♪ I've got... ♪
- Can I give this guy a compliment?
- Yes. - No.
- Is that meow, how? And he was like--
And then I also-- all right, I'm done.
- Yeah. Yeah.
Luckily, that's how I felt when I heard the meow, too.
- I kind of want him to finish the bit
if I'm being honest with him.
- Yeah, go ahead. Do that bit that got cut off.
This might be-- he may have saved all of his power
for the closing bit.
- This might be-- this might-- this might--
this might redeem you.
- This guy's coming in with a bedazzled--
He's very excited. This guy literally has a plastic on his shirt.
Oh, I scosh, yeah.
This is a fresh fit, and I'm not gonna say who I work for,
but let's say I do insurance during the week.
And the joke was I called the client up during the day,
and she said I was too early. She still had her CPAP machine on.
Too early.
Gosh, fuck!
As a CPAP wearer, I'm offended.
- I'm guessing that one's gonna take a little bit to...
- It's a fresh one, Tony. - It's a while, it's a while.
- Sink it. - It's a fresh one.
You didn't get it in the beginning, it's a fresh one.
It's a while.
[Bit 12]
Ari walks in at the same time, there's something fucking going on here.
I don't know if you're with this dude or what, man.
Ari brought his travel agent with us.
It's Ari's big bit. He's like, "Dude, just go out and be the most unfunny dude in the world."
It's gonna kill.
Now, who wants two tickets to Paraguay?
[Bit 13]
- Can I give this guy a compliment?
- Yes. - No.
[Bit 14]
- I'm kinda wanting to get raped by Bill Cosby now.
[Bit 15]
All right, so when we write jokes at our club,
we want to make sure it relates to people like my age.
- What? - Who's the--
- Who's cause me? - Who's weed?
- And why are you explaining joke writing to us?
- Yeah, who's the weed?
- Hey, jerk calls when we're writing jokes
that you guys clearly don't know
what the fuck you're talking about.
Let me explain it to you, 'cause I'm an insurance salesman.
[Bit 16]
-Well, he's on a different level than us, dude.
This Wisconsin, you know, there's these Austin,
New York, L.A. arguments,
but we are missing the boat here.
Little did we know that the real thunder and lightning
is the delayed release that's been --
that has been conjured up in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.
It is incredible.
[Bit 17]
So it's something you guys do not know.
I'm an ultra runner, so I run 50Ks and above.
Oh, I really hate him.
Yeah.
Go fuck yourself.
[Bit 18]
- Chad, you did your best, man.
You did the best, best Oshkosh set.
We're waiting for the release.
We're waiting for it to sink in.
Bit 1 · Beat 1
Beat Details
Beat Premise
“Oshkosh could be Chicago's prison overflow destination.”
Joke Type
reframeLines
setupI'm Chad, I am from Oshkosh, Wisconsin.
setupIf you guys don't know where Oshkosh is,
punchlineThat's where Chicago sends all their prisoners.