Carl Kurz

Bucket PullManLarge Joke Book

Career avg·4.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.50 punch density·1.00 tag density·1 set

This set·4 bits·4 beats·0.50 punch density·1.00 tag density·Large Joke Book

Watch Carl Kurz’s set

Skips to 30:17 in the episode

[Bit 1]

I have a kidney, but it also has hep C, so...

[Bit 2]

Um, I got picked on a lot in middle school,

and I got made fun of a lot.

I don't know if you could tell, but looking at me,

I tried to cover up most of my shame with tattoos.

Look at this big fucking crow tattooed on my head.

You don't get a crow like this tattooed on your head

unless you've been called a f--k at one too many times.

Well, I get this crow out my head,

and I'm like, "What's a f--k at now, Bryson?"

Not me.

[Bit 3]

Anyways, I started doing drugs,

and inevitably I went to prison.

And I didn't want to go to prison poor,

so I took a couple things up my ass with me.

Took 30 methadone, 2 ounces of weed,

Half a can of bugler, rolling tobacco, a can of bugler.

And when I got there, I was a popular kid all of a sudden.

I wasn't getting picked on anymore.

[Bit 4]

So the worst part about shoving all those drugs up my ass

was all the times I went to court and didn't go to prison?

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Beat Premise

“I have a kidney, but it also has hep C, so...”

Joke Type

contradiction

Lines

punchlineI have a kidney, but it also has hep C, so...