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2021-12-07

Ali Musa

Bucket PullBig Joke Book

Watch Ali Musa's Kill Tony episode 534 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 3 joke beats, 0.17 punch density, 0.67 tag density.

Career avg·1.67 bits/set·3.67 beats/set·0.34 punch density·1.22 tag density·3 sets

This set·1 bit·3 beats·0.17 punch density·0.67 tag density·Big Joke Book

- How's it going, guys?

[Bit 1]

Have you noticed homeless people

are getting too confident and brave lately?

Like, especially in this city,

there's like a new level of not give a fuck I've noticed

since the pandemic started.

I was trying to leave a CVS recently

and there was this shoeless woman sitting on the floor,

blocking the exit.

I'm trying to leave, she looks up at me and goes,

"Hey, can I get a ride downtown?"

I say no and I just walk over this bitch.

I'm walking in my car, she's yelling out a bunch of shit,

and then she says something that causes me

to stop and turn around, I swear to God, she goes,

"Oh, come on, man, I'll suck your toes."

Suck my toes?

Whatever happened to sucking dick?

She skipped right over dick and went down to toes,

which is way more disgusting than sucking dick.

Let's be honest.

It's objectively grosser, guys.

Like, I'm not gay, but if any man in this audience

came on stage right now and held a gun to my head

and I had to choose between sucking their toes

or sucking their dick,

I'm sucking the dick every single time.

And honestly, getting my dick sucked

is my favorite thing in life.

I rank it as number one,

but number two is the way that homeless lady

sucked my toes that day.

Hell yeah.

She sucked my toes so good, she made my dick curl,

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupHave you noticed homeless people

setupare getting too confident and brave lately?

setupLike, especially in this city,

setupthere's like a new level of not give a fuck I've noticed

setupsince the pandemic started.

setupI was trying to leave a CVS recently

setupand there was this shoeless woman sitting on the floor,

setupblocking the exit.

setupI'm trying to leave, she looks up at me and goes,

setup"Hey, can I get a ride downtown?"

setupI say no and I just walk over this bitch.

setupI'm walking in my car, she's yelling out a bunch of shit,

setupand then she says something that causes me

setupto stop and turn around, I swear to God, she goes,

punchline"Oh, come on, man, I'll suck your toes."