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Kill Tony #161 - Joe DeRosa & Big Jay Oakerson

2016-07-20

Isaac Allen

Bucket Pull

Watch Isaac Allen's Kill Tony episode 161 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 1 bit, 2 joke beats, 0.17 punch density, 1.50 tag density.

Career avg·1.00 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·0.17 punch density·1.50 tag density·1 set

This set·1 bit·2 beats·0.17 punch density·1.50 tag density

[Bit 1]

So, I'm getting rid of friends.

A lot of them, especially superstitious friends.

I can't do it.

I was talking to two of them when I was walking the other day,

and I got a little shiver in my spine.

Just wasn't cold, just a little hoo, like one of those.

My buddy stops me and he goes, "Bro, someone just stepped

on your future grave."

Fucking no.

My other buddy was like, "No, a ghost just passed through you."

I was like, "You guys are both stupid."

So I just came up with one back at them.

I was like, "Well, when someone thinks about you while they're

masturbating, that's when you get that little shiver."

I said it, so it's true.

And I want to know that there's a porn star somewhere

who just can't stop.

Like, she's like, "Will you 13-year-olds just shut the

fucking laptops already this is ridiculous you all right yeah someone's

just watching Thunder Cox 9 again this happens all the time I don't even think

Michael J Fox has Parkinson's I think there's just a bunch of women like

beaten off the back to the future it's like whoa McFly oh call me Biff baby

like my clock tower I thought of God what are you looking at butt head oh and

if you didn't laugh at that that means you'd rather met Parkinson's and that's

fucked up what's wrong with you guys all right fuck yeah Isaac Allen you work

here at the comedy store. How long have you worked here? About a month and a half or so.

Where are you from? I don't really know you. Yeah, I'm from Indianapolis, Indiana.

You know what he means. Where are you from? Yeah. Well, let me put it this way. I am from

Indianapolis. I want to know where them eyes come from, boy. You know what the fuck we're saying.

I am Fung Charles, a half a brother.

Where are you from, Tijuana or something like that?

That's three songs, Jonah Rosa.

Three songs, yeah!

He said yeah!

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupSo, I'm getting rid of friends.

setupA lot of them, especially superstitious friends.

setupI can't do it.

setupI was talking to two of them when I was walking the other day,

setupand I got a little shiver in my spine.

setupJust wasn't cold, just a little hoo, like one of those.

setupMy buddy stops me and he goes, "Bro, someone just stepped

setupon your future grave."

setupMy other buddy was like, "No, a ghost just passed through you."

setupI was like, "You guys are both stupid."

setupSo I just came up with one back at them.

setupI was like, "Well, when someone thinks about you while they're

punchlinemasturbating, that's when you get that little shiver."

tagI said it, so it's true.