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2021-05-18

Jesse Burlingame

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Watch Jesse Burlingame's Kill Tony episode 505 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.59 punch density, 1.50 tag density.

Career avg·2.50 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.68 punch density·0.83 tag density·2 sets

This set·2 bits·4 beats·0.59 punch density·1.50 tag density

- What's going on guys?

[Bit 1]

I wish I was way cooler, like I don't have any tattoos,

but my sister completely covered head to toe in tattoos,

but she's like the worst tattoos.

My sister's like 40 stars all over her body.

I don't know what they represent at this point

as disposable income and boredom.

I don't know what they're supposed to mean.

[Bit 2]

But the best tattoo my sister has, my favorite,

she's a lower back tattoo that says live and learn.

Yeah, live and learn.

I feel like every tramp stamp says that, right?

You don't have to literally spell it out for us, sis.

We get it.

I don't know.

Live and learn.

I don't know what she's learned.

I've met all of her boyfriends.

What have you learned?

How to use Narcan, maybe?

I'm not really sure what that's supposed to mean.

I thought I'd said no regrets for the longest time. I was talking to my mom about it.

She's like, "It doesn't say no regrets. It says 'Live and Learn.'"

I was like, "Oh, that is way worse."

Because no regrets means I don't give a fuck, whereas Live and Learn is like, "My stakes have been made."

And through these experiences, I've gained some knowledge that I'll use in the future going forward.

That's a lot to take in for the guy banging my sister, right?

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

reframe

Lines

setupI wish I was way cooler, like I don't have any tattoos,

setupbut my sister completely covered head to toe in tattoos,

setupbut she's like the worst tattoos.

setupMy sister's like 40 stars all over her body.

setupI don't know what they represent at this point

punchlineas disposable income and boredom.

tagI don't know what they're supposed to mean.