Taylor Neely

Bucket PullSmall Joke Book

Watch Taylor Neely's Kill Tony episode 724 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 5 bits, 6 joke beats, 0.38 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·3.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.31 punch density·0.50 tag density·2 sets

This set·5 bits·6 beats·0.38 punch density·0.00 tag density

[Bit 1]

I'm 2% Italian, so I have been hitting my girlfriend.

[Bit 2]

I got some bad news today.

My veterinarian called and told me my dog is sick.

Like he's really shut up.

Yeah, he's really fucking sick.

Like he can't stop riding skateboards

and smoking cigarettes.

My dog is sick, dude.

[Bit 3]

Are you guys afraid of artificial intelligence?

Yeah, I'm not, but I have smoked crack cocaine

with the homeless and that is something chat GPT cannot do.

[Bit 4]

After this, actually, I'm going to order a Waymo

and have it drive me off a bridge.

[Bit 5]

The other day-- you ever see someone

in the front seat of a Waymo?

It looks like they're having their imaginary friend drive

the car.

The other day, I saw a homeless person

washing the windshield on a Waymo.

It's a driverless car.

Also there was no one in that car, it was a personless car.

Thank you.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

punchlineI'm 2% Italian, so I have been hitting my girlfriend.