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KILL TONY #593 - ANDREW SANTINO + IAN EDWARDS + KIM CONGDON + SARA WEINSHENK

2023-01-24

Marcus O'Lind

Bucket Pull

Watch Marcus O'Lind's Kill Tony episode 593 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 5 joke beats, 0.80 punch density, 1.40 tag density.

Career avg·4.00 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.80 punch density·1.40 tag density·1 set

This set·4 bits·5 beats·0.80 punch density·1.40 tag density

Thank you.

[Bit 1]

Just get this out of the way,

I did not storm the Capitol last year, all right.

I did not, I know you were there, sir,

but I was not, all right.

Did not storm the Capitol,

my flight got delayed,

I showed up on the 7th, I was like, what?

I missed it the last time I fly American Airlines, all right?

I'm trying to be fucking Patriot out here, all right.

[Bit 2]

Someone told me to look like I tried to sell vape cartridges

to the Taliban.

I am doing that, all right,

you gotta go with the winner, all right?

Sir, I got a good deal for you.

Speaking of the Taliban,

[Bit 3]

I can't wait till we can buy weed at Costco.

That's what I'm looking forward to.

You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, I wanna smoke that Kirkland Kush, baby.

That's what I wanna be smoking.

[Bit 4]

All right, we got some members, that's what's up.

All right, hey, black guy, that's it, how you doing?

If you're not laughing at that,

you're a Sam's Club shopper,

you can go fuck yourself, all right?

Thank you, that's my time.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupJust get this out of the way,

punchlineI did not storm the Capitol last year, all right.

tagI did not, I know you were there, sir,

tagbut I was not, all right.