[Bit 1]
- Yeah, I got called for jury duty last week.
I haven't done that in a while.
I haven't had to do it in a bit.
Don't know anything about the justice system.
I've seen 895 episodes of Judge Judy, but that's it.
So I didn't know what to expect, you know what I mean?
But my friends told me, "Don't worry,
There's a really long orientation before they start,
so they'll teach you everything you need to know
about sending somebody to jail.
But they didn't tell us anything about that.
For 30 minutes, the lady behind the counter,
all she told us about was how to fill out
the address section of the juror form
the whole time I was there.
The whole time she was just like,
"you're not gonna put an apartment number on the form.
"Sir, why are you putting an apartment number on the form?
This went on for 30 fucking minutes, you know?
And I'm saying to myself,
why are they telling us about this
instead of anything about the justice system,
why are they telling us about this address form
the other people in my group,
they couldn't fill out the address form,
they were struggling with it,
like these are your peers.
these fucking people are gonna sentence you to prison,
they can't even fill out the fucking address form.
There's a lady in my group
in a Klondike bar at 9.30 in the morning,
If you eat ice cream before lunch
and you're not qualified to send somebody to prison,
I'm sorry, that's how I feel about that, you know?
Started taking my anger out on the judge,
I was like, dude, you studied law for what,
You need help from 30 random fucking weirdos.
Help you make a decision. Get it together.
Use your brain. You're a lawyer.
It's like if I went to the doctor and he was like,
