Appreciate the applause and all, but it's not like any y'all ever bought our shit.
And that's why I thought about what I want to say out here,
and I thought, fuck it, I don't give a fuck,
but any of them think, nobody.
I'm gonna be personal, very personal with y'all,
all right, 'cause I don't care.
[Bit 1]
I've never had butt sex.
No, seriously, I'm a 51-year-old man,
and he loves sex, never had butt sex,
with a man, unfortunately, or with a woman.
I've always been told my dick was too big,
and I thought, well, that's the shit,
but I wanna have butt sex, too.
I always been told my dick was too big,
but I'm gonna tell you this.
Nowadays, I watch Pornhub all day, and that's a lie.
My dick is not too big for nothing.
My dick is like somewhere between small and medium.
And it's crushed down like a fire hydrant.
It's like Barney, Fred and Barney, you know.
It's like, if my dick was a man, it'd be Barney.
[Bit 2]
But people, you know, I wanted to announce
me and my girlfriend the other night,
just the other night, for real, no bullshit,
That's a big move for me.
It boosted me with mad karma.
[Bit 3]
People always ask me about the face paint
in case you don't notice I got clown paint, huh?
And people always say, "You want to fuck up your face?
"That shit fuck up your face?"
Shit, you motherfuckers wish you could see
how immaculate my face is without the pink.
This shit is like wearing, I started wearing it at 19.
Damn near every day of my life.
This shit is like, olive au lait.
Skin creams, like wearing a fucking mud mask.
[Bit 4]
I got the body, everything about my body is 51,
but my face is 19 years old.
I'm that serious, immaculate,
and I don't wear my hair like this
when I don't have the paint on.
My shit is print, pressed, plucked, and fucking curled.
For real, my shit is gorgeous.
You know, I'm pretty like Prince.
Can't say Prince wasn't pretty.
Prince was fucking damn near hot.
[Bit 5]
I was so sad when Prince died,
'cause I always knew if I had to fuck a man,
like if my life depended on it, it'd be Prince.
with the caramel fucking skin
and the gorgeous ass fucking jerry curl
Quit frontin', he was perfect.
But now because they're both gone, if I had to fuck a man,
No, no, not because I think he's hot.
It just seems like he's so cool
and a big-hearted guy, he'll be real gentle with you
and help you through it. You know what I'm saying?
He'll be patient with you. You might even spoon afterward, you know what I'm saying?
And so that's why he's my choice.
