John Horner

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Watch John Horner's Kill Tony episode 574 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 4 joke beats, 0.19 punch density, 0.00 tag density.

Career avg·4.00 bits/set·4.00 beats/set·0.19 punch density·0.00 tag density·1 set

This set·4 bits·4 beats·0.19 punch density·0.00 tag density

Are you guys ready?

Are you guys ready to party?

[Bit 1]

I'm ready to party.

I'm rock hard.

All right, guys.

[Bit 2]

You guys like country music.

You guys like good old-fashioned country music.

Everybody clap your hands.

Come on.

to a country song. All right clap your hands guys.

Cowgirls give me a yeehaw. Cowboys give me a yeehaw.

All right guys this song here is called Death to the Infidel.

Hello, Shem, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, sheba.

Oh, I can't even fucking read.

I'm fucking functionally illiterate.

I'm so good at this.

All right, I'm gonna do more jokes

'cause I haven't heard the thing yet.

[Bit 3]

All right, guys, I'm not opposed

to a transgender president

because I will never go to the bathroom in the White House.

All right, some shackles, some shackles.

[Bit 4]

All right, guys, my stage name is John Horner.

My legal name is John Horner, registered sex offender.

All right, that wasn't bad.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI'm ready to party.

punchlineI'm rock hard.