Ben Horn

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Watch Ben Horn's Kill Tony episode 501 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 5 joke beats, 0.43 punch density, 0.20 tag density.

Career avg·1.50 bits/set·3.50 beats/set·0.51 punch density·0.35 tag density·2 sets

This set·2 bits·5 beats·0.43 punch density·0.20 tag density

- Thank you, thank you.

[Bit 1]

Everybody excited about these COVID restrictions

getting lifted?

Yeah, I'm not, I'm fucking pissed.

Everything was going just fine, I didn't get sick once.

and this asshole opens everything back up and boom, chlamydia.

You know?

I mean, it was kind of like getting the vaccine

'cause I didn't know I'd have to get it twice, but...

Could've been worse.

She could've given me something worse than chlamydia.

She could've given me, like, a hand job, you know?

I'll take dirty puss over a hand job any fucking day.

[Bit 2]

Pretty sure the last time I got a hand job,

I was at a middle school dance.

Yeah, and I was a chaperone, so...

If you turn that into a pedophile joke, that's on you.

I didn't get jerked off by a middle schooler.

It was a lunch lady, which I think is worse.

All right, I'm Ben Horn. Thank you very much.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupEverybody excited about these COVID restrictions

setupgetting lifted?

setupYeah, I'm not, I'm fucking pissed.

setupEverything was going just fine, I didn't get sick once.

punchlineand this asshole opens everything back up and boom, chlamydia.