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KT #755 - DR PHIL (ADAM RAY) + SAL VULCANO, + GREG FITZSIMMONS

2026-02-10

Robert Carroll

Bucket Pull

Watch Robert Carroll's Kill Tony episode 755 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 2 bits, 2 joke beats, 0.14 punch density, 1.00 tag density.

Career avg·2.00 bits/set·2.00 beats/set·0.14 punch density·1.00 tag density·1 set

This set·2 bits·2 beats·0.14 punch density·1.00 tag density

Fucking a kill Tony wonderful, so

So I'm on shrooms.

I got to lead with that.

Sorry.

What are the odds?

This is my second time I sign up.

There's no way they're picking me.

I'm shrooming pretty hard.

Give me a little benefit, OK?

So I guess stuck here for the ice.

[Bit 1]

Stay at a goddamn hotel.

Very nice hotel.

How many times can a 60-year-old man jerk off in one afternoon?

38.

The answer's 38.

69 would have been funnier, but it's really 38.

So the mushrooms thing, anybody do psilocybin?

But the undamaged sprout--

Oh, yeah, anybody shroomin' tonight?

Whoop, whoop.

Well, I am.

That was a bad idea.

It's going to turn out fine, I'm sure.

[Bit 2]

So I talked to all these young people,

and I'm like, psilocybin's legal now.

And they're like, oh, that's so cute.

Are you microdosing?

And I'm like, no, I don't know.

What the fuck is a microdose?

Do seven grams of micro-dose?

Go, yes.

I guess I'm micro-dosing.

Anyway, I'm Robert Carroll, thank y'all.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

hyperbole

Lines

setupStay at a goddamn hotel.

setupVery nice hotel.

setupHow many times can a 60-year-old man jerk off in one afternoon?

punchline38.

tagThe answer's 38.

tag69 would have been funnier, but it's really 38.