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KT #723 - DAVID LUCAS + CRISTINA MARIANI

Alex James

Bucket Pull

Watch Alex James's Kill Tony episode 723 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 4 bits, 6 joke beats, 0.56 punch density, 0.67 tag density.

Career avg·4.00 bits/set·6.00 beats/set·0.56 punch density·0.67 tag density·1 set

This set·4 bits·6 beats·0.56 punch density·0.67 tag density

[Bit 1]

>> I have an English degree from a state school, so

it's safe to say that I make more money from doing comedy.

Fuck, I am soaking wet now.

I'm butchering everything.

[Bit 2]

All right, my girlfriend's 20 years older than me,

and she's my former math professor, which worked out

great, because my math is shit.

And it's interesting dating an older woman,

because the first time that we slept together,

I felt like I was taking her virginity.

So I asked her about it.

She said, all C-sections.

And let me tell you, that pussy was roped off

like a museum exhibit.

No kids had passed through there messing things up.

Nothing had been touched in years.

most importantly, students get in for free.

And that tight pussy kind of made up for those three kids

because they were loose as fuck.

[Bit 3]

A homeless guy asked me for $1.

I said, I have $50,000 in student loan debt

and a useless degree.

Do you have $1?

[Bit 4]

I'm 30, and I still live at home with my mom.

And it's weird living at home because I'm one argument away

from being homeless, but on the other hand,

I'm one stroke away from becoming a homeowner.

- All right, I'm Alex James, thank you guys.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setup>> I have an English degree from a state school, so

punchlineit's safe to say that I make more money from doing comedy.