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Kill Tony #132 (Aaron Kleiber, Ashley Barnhill)

2020-05-06

Joey Squid

Bucket PullMan

Watch Joey Squid's Kill Tony episode 132 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 3 bits, 3 joke beats, 0.32 punch density, 1.00 tag density.

Career avg·3.00 bits/set·3.00 beats/set·0.32 punch density·1.00 tag density·1 set

This set·3 bits·3 beats·0.32 punch density·1.00 tag density

What's up?

[Bit 1]

Alright, so I think I got a drinking problem, guys.

I need to quit.

I realized this the other day after my dad came up to me and he said,

"Son, you're a functioning alcoholic."

And I said, "Thank you."

[Bit 2]

The other day my mom called me, she told me, "Things are pretty bad with Grandma.

She's got Alzheimer's."

I said, "Fuck!"

But it's Alzheimer's.

So I Googled that shit while I was smoking a joint.

I looked it out on my phone and I said, "Fuck!

I got Alzheimer's!"

I'm fucked!

You know what I'm saying?

[Bit 3]

All right, I just gotta be honest with you guys.

I gotta get off social fucking media.

Can I get an amen from anybody out there?

I'm sitting at home on my futon, I'm jerking off,

fucking just about to blow my load.

And guess what happens?

My grandma lies some shit on Facebook.

I'm like, "Oh, damn!"

Yeah

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

double-meaning

Lines

setupAlright, so I think I got a drinking problem, guys.

setupI need to quit.

setupI realized this the other day after my dad came up to me and he said,

setup"Son, you're a functioning alcoholic."

punchlineAnd I said, "Thank you."