Watch Jacob Barr’s set

Skips to 1:43:10 in the episode

Having trouble with the embed? Open on YouTube at 1:43:10

KT #672 - DONALD TRUMP (SHANE GILLIS) + JOE BIDEN (ADAM RAY)

2024-07-16

Jacob Barr

Bucket PullDisabledManWhiteMiddle-AgeMedium Joke BookBig Joke Book

Watch Jacob Barr's Kill Tony episode 672 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 3 bits, 6 joke beats, 0.38 punch density, 0.67 tag density.

Career avg·2.50 bits/set·5.00 beats/set·0.33 punch density·0.33 tag density·2 sets

This set·3 bits·6 beats·0.38 punch density·0.67 tag density·Big Joke Book

- Thank you, thank you, thank you.

What's up everybody? I had sex today.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Alright, who wants to smell my nub?

Thank you.

[Bit 1]

No, no, no, I used my dick the first time a girl ever saw it.

Her reaction was, "Oh, thank God."

[Bit 2]

It was my beautiful fiancé.

She's up in Michigan. She's a beautiful woman.

She's a scientist. She's trapped.

Ha ha.

She's a beautiful woman.

Whenever she tells everybody she's a scientist,

I'm always like, "And I'm her experiment

"that went horribly wrong!"

All right, shut the fuck up.

I'm very anxious, shut the fuck up.

[Bit 3]

All right, I was born without an asshole.

Now the hands don't seem like shit anymore.

That's not even that uncommon of a thing

I can guarantee you one of you is born without,

but your parents were just nice enough

not to tell you about it.

The fun thing is I have one now,

and people are always like, "How big was the drill?"

And I'm like, "Huge, I'm gaped as fuck down there."

There's a funny thing,

When you're born without asshole and you got a new one,

your muscles don't work good down there.

So I have to sit when I pee

because the muscle that uses to piss also shits.

So if you're in the bathroom,

you ever see me standing up to pee,

I'm either living on the edge

or you're about to get fucking pranked.

All right, good night, thank you.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupNo, no, no, I used my dick the first time a girl ever saw it.

punchlineHer reaction was, "Oh, thank God."