Watch Colin Heaton’s set

Skips to 20:41 in the episode

Having trouble with the embed? Open on YouTube at 20:41

2020-01-27

Colin Heaton

Bucket Pull

Watch Colin Heaton's Kill Tony episode 431 set with a timestamped video, full transcript, and line-by-line joke breakdown. This set has 6 bits, 6 joke beats, 0.39 punch density, 0.17 tag density.

Career avg·6.00 bits/set·6.00 beats/set·0.39 punch density·0.17 tag density·1 set

This set·6 bits·6 beats·0.39 punch density·0.17 tag density

- This is my first time.

[Bit 1]

I just moved here from Wyoming, I love the outdoors.

So I was excited to see all the sidewalks

are covered in tents, but they're not lovers

of the great outdoors, they're lovers of heroin.

I'm still getting used to L.A.

[Bit 2]

Recently had a date, took a bird scooter.

It was so awkward at the end of sighting

who gets a gushing head wound.

[Bit 3]

Dating is hard.

Girls don't want a guy who bird scooters and buy weed,

gets too high at a bird scooter home,

has to call for a ride,

even when I said it when it happened again.

[Bit 4]

Side note, is anybody sanitizing these bird scooters?

I was riding a bird scooter and I think I got bird flu.

[Bit 5]

My next date I used Uber, screwed up and got Uber pool.

A stranger sat between us.

They really hit it off.

I never saw her again.

[Bit 6]

Luckily I hit it off with a driver,

but it didn't last long.

I knew it was over when she started giving someone else

shotgun.

Fuck yeah.

Bit 1 · Beat 1

Beat Details

Joke Type

misdirect

Lines

setupI just moved here from Wyoming, I love the outdoors.

setupSo I was excited to see all the sidewalks

setupare covered in tents, but they're not lovers

punchlineof the great outdoors, they're lovers of heroin.